Fall

In the midst of stressful deadlines and college applications, I have FINALLY gotten an opportunity to sit down and reflect on the last several months. After a disappointing performance at the SCS National Championship, I started to have some doubts about my climbing. This lack of confidence  contributed to several more surprising losses and further impacted my headspace. Disheartened and despondent, I was forced to reevaluate the reasons for which I compete. It seems like just another cliche moment in any competitive athlete's career, but I had to abandon my focus on winning and concentrate more on why I began climbing in the first place. In doing so, I was able regain some much-needed confidence and direct my attention to my passion rather than the results it yielded.

Deadpoint Competition 2014

With a clear mind and a positive perspective, I have only seen improvements in my climbing, both in training and in competition. A first place at the Regional Championship last month gave me confidence that a mental readjustment was all that I needed to rise out of my slump. It is still very early in the season, but I can honestly say that no matter what happens at the National Championship this February, I will have no regrets about the way I have prepared.

Desert Classic 2014

As always, I have loved the opportunity to compete it Soybu clothes. My person favorite from the Murano collection was the Nadia Tee. The formfitting material has kept me warm during the frigid Arizona winters and has served as an extra layer during every competition this season!

shirt depicted above 

As this year comes to a close, I look forward to seeing what 2015 holds. I never could have expected that 2014 would be such a rebuilding year- both physically and mentally. The last 12 months have been difficult and discouraging, yet I know that I have learned tenacity far more than I ever would have had my year been failure-free. I truly believe that things fall apart so better things will fall together, and I can only hope that 2015 will bring the success I have waited for.

Unpredictability

I consider myself an avid planner. I prefer to know what is going on at what time, and similarly, what I should expect in both the near and distant future. Unpredictability scares me, as it does most people, and therefore I try to avoid the inconstant at all costs. (side note: if my mom happens to be reading this, please note that disorganization does not necessarily correlate with unpredictability, and this post by no means can be used as a case for me to clean my room.) For this reason, it was much to my dismay that almost immediately after the World Championship this summer I tore a tendon in my wrist, preventing me from climbing for the majority of bouldering season.

My unpredictable injury left me completely confused and devastated, with nowhere to put my now-useless 8 month plan on "How To Become the National Champion". I spent a large portion of my recovery trying desperately to salvage all the plans I had made pre-injury. It was only through these efforts that I truly discovered the danger in planning. Despite our efforts, some unpredictability is completely unavoidable, and by depending on variables that may or may not remain constant, we set ourselves up for inevitable disappointment. By accepting that unpredictability is the only true constant, I was finally able to heal emotionally and simultaneously heal physically from my season-ending injury.

My inability to climb gave me a chance to explore new facets of the sport that were never in my original plan. I had the opportunity to coach the younger up-and-coming kids, who made me remember why I began climbing in the first place. I had a chance to watch my best friends compete and crush both in the adult and youth circuits (S/O to Grace Mckeehan, Claire Buhrfeind, Megan Mascarenas, and Margo Hayes for killing it at both Adult National Championships this year). Finally, I had the honor of getting to know one of my personal climbing role-models: Alex Johnson. Alex proved to me that not all surprises are awful, when she presented my with a spot on the North Face Young Gun Rookie Team at the National Championship at which I could not compete.

Despite all that I have gained from sitting out for the last 6 months, I am ecstatic to finally throw my hat back into the ring and get back to doing what I love. To say that I don't have a goal would be prevarication, as most competitive athletes strive for the same thing. With that being said however,  I look forward to approaching the upcoming season with no expectations and facing unpredictability head-on. With an open mind and without a plan, I can't wait to compete this weekend at the first SCS competition of the season, and see what surprises (good and bad), the future holds.